


Shitshow

by Sdreiter24



Category: Shameless - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, Season 3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-17 21:46:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 9,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16982397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sdreiter24/pseuds/Sdreiter24
Summary: Mickey Milkovich has finally stood up to his father. Too bad it was too little too late and the red headed reason he did left a year ago. Now Mickey is starting over in a new place and hoping that he can live a normal life. But we all know nothing is ever easy for a Milkovich





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work. I have never written anything before. And this has not been beta’d so all mistakes are my own

Mickey Milkovich’s life Has always been a shitshow. Born the fourth son of homophobic,racist drug dealer and certified drug addict. He was never going to live the fairy tale life that people dreamt of. His only saving grace was that a year after he was born his mother gave birth to a little girl, Mandy, and they grew up to be inseparable. Wherever you saw one the other was sure to follow. That was until Mickeys mother died when he was 9 and his father decided Mickey was old enough to start doing runs with him and his brothers.  
Mickey was 12 when he realized he was not attracted to girls. Terry had called for a couple of hookers for his brother Jaime and For Mickey. Said it was time for Mickey to become a man. So Mickey tried. He willed his dick to stay hard as he looked at the woman on her knees in front of him. When it didn’t happen Terry chalked it up to nerves and lack of experience. So he did what anyone would do and took the woman for himself. He had to get his moneys worth after all.  
Little did Mickey know that years down the road a beautiful,tall redhead would send his world into a tailspin. The day that Terry caught Mickey and Ian fucking on his living room couch Mickey kniew that his shitshow of a life was about to get a hell of a lot worse. Not only did they get the shit beat out of them, but Terry had called for a hooker to “fuck the faggot out of his son” and to make it worse, he made Ian watch. He still remembers the look on Ian’s face when the Russian straddled him. That’s why as he stands outside of Cook County Correctional waiting for the man that took his life away. Gave him a wife he didn’t want and a kid he just found out isn’t his. You see dear old dad must have had his chance at Svetlana only minutes after the hooker raped him because the test he holds in his hand says that Mickey is not the father but a close relative is. So he stands and he waits for the monster that is his father ready to take back his life and stand up for himself. Ready to live his life as he wants.


	2. Chapter 2

Ian Gallagher had never had an easy life. Born to a bipolar mother and an alcoholic father he’s been raised by his older sister,Fiona, since he was born. Fiona was only 6. Frank and Monica would blow into their lives and take what they want and leave nothing in return. The Gallagher siblings had to grow up fast to survive. That’s why at age 14 Ian got a job at the Kash-N-Grab, the local convenient store. Now Ian’s known for a long time that he wasn’t into girls. His brother Lip has shown him pictures in a magazine and porn on their run down old laptop that Lip had stolen a few years ago. Ian didn’t see the appeal. What he was attracted to was solid muscles, a nice ass, and dick. Roger Spikey was the first guy he’d ever hooked up with. He was in the locker room after gym one day and Roger had dropped to his knees right here and sucked Ian off. He knew it would never feel like that with a girl. Maybe that’s why when his much older boss propositioned him he didn’t think twice. Just turned him around and bent him over the cooler in the freezer of the convenience store and fucked him so hard the older man walked bow-legged for the rest of his shift. Maybe hats the same reason that when goes to Mickey Milkovich’s house to get the gun that he stole from said boss he ends up fighting then fucking Mickey. He swears the minute the tyre iron is raised above his head he’s a goner. But instead Mickey jumps off of him and starts tearing off his clothes. He had the fuck of his life that day and gained a new fuck buddy...or so he thought.  
He never meant to fall for Mickey. Never thought it would get that far. It was never suppose to happen that way. But the day that Terry caught them together Ian’s world came crashing down around him. He tried to confront Mickey, tried to tell him he was making a mistake, tried to get him to admit just one time that he was gay and that he loved Ian. What he got instead was a punch in the gut and a kick to the face. He still has the scar on his chin and the missing tooth. He should have stayed away after that. Should have never gone to the wedding but he needed to see it for himself. And even after fucking Ian in basement he still married her, The Russian hooker who was pregnant with his child. Terry was so proud. So Ian left. He let Mickey live the lie. Let him ruin his life. Let Terry get everything he ever wanted for his son.  
The cards however were never in his favor. The one time Ian decided to bottom and he ends up knocked up. He didn’t even know he was a carrier. Only 25% of the male population have the gene and Ian was lucky enough to get it. So he tells Mandy. He tells her everything, about Mickey and Terry and the Russian whore who is now Mrs. Mikhailo Milkovich. And they run. They pack their bags in the middle of the night, load up a car that he’s sure Mandy has stolen and they drive. No notes are left and no phone calls made, no way of people knowing where they are because honestly they have no idea where they’re going. This way is safer. This way No one finds out about the pregnancy, this way Ian and the baby are safe.


	3. Chapter 3

Mickey sees the cart driving up the road. Sees his fathers figure getting off and walking toward him. His heart beats a little faster and his palms start sweating, but he knows he needs to do this. Knows it’s the only way to be free. He yells out to the guard driving the cart to wait and he steels himself, looks into his fathers eyes and thrusts the piece of paper he has in his hand into his fathers chest and begins to speak. 

“ I know” he says

“Know what you little shit. Is this anyway to treat your old man after he’s released from prison. Let’s go! I need a beer. 

“You’re not my father. You’re a monster who would rather his son live a total lie than live his life. I never wanted this. I never wanted a wife or kid. I never wanted to be raped by a hooker because you thought what I am is wrong, because that is who I am Terry! I’m Gay! Big Ole Mo. Your little plan didn’t work”

It could have been an hour it could have been 30 seconds Mickey isn’t quite sure because it seems like the world has stopped. One minute his dad is looking at him with wide eyes and the next he’s tackling him to the ground throwing punch after punch. Mickey doesn’t even try to fight him. He’s said his peace. If this is the way he goes he can deal with that. But then the weight on his chest is gone and Terry’s being lifted off of Mickey by the same guard that had just carted him there. Before Mickey can blink Terrys being cuffed and hauled right back into the place that he was released from now 15 minutes before. It had to be some kind of record. So Mickey stands. He brushes himself off, smiles through bloody teeth and gets in the car. He has no idea where he’s going but Chicago has nothing left for him. His two main reasons to stay left a year ago and no ones heard from them. So he starts the car with no real direction. But he feels free for the first time in his life. Free from his father. Free from his wife, well soon to be ex-wife. But most of all he feels free from himself. He can finally be who is is. So he dives no destination in mind. He can only think of one other time that he’s been this happy. But he can’t think of that right now. Right now he lets the open road take him to his new life.


	4. Chapter 4

Mandy and Ian have been in New York for about a year now. They live in a one bedroom apartment in Queens. It’s small but it’s all that they could afford, especially with a baby. Mandy works at a diner a couple of blocks away and Ian is a bartender at a gay club. It works for them. Mandy works the day shift and Ian works nights, so there’s always someone there for baby Alek.   
Aleksandr Philip Gallagher was born August 10. Weighing 6 pounds 5 ounces and he was 19 inches long. Mandy was there through the entire labor and has been a godsend to Ian and Alek ever since. Alek is perfect. Dark hair, blue eyes to match his aunt, and faint freckles that dust his chubby cheeks. Ian was in love the first time he saw him. He’s the light of his father and aunt’s lives. He looks so much like Mickey it takes Ian’s breath away sometimes.   
Sunday is family day. Ian is off from the bar and Mandy only works if someone needs her to fill their shift. So they usually take Alek for a walk around town. It’s getting a little chillier. November is starting to finally show its face. Cooler winds and crisper air. Alek is bundled up in his stroller while Mandy pushes it along talking about her new adventure with her boyfriend. They’re happy. Ian loves the routine of it all, needs it. It wasn’t easy at first. There were a lot of obstacles when they first moved to New York, but they made it. Ian hopes it stays like this.


	5. Chapter 5

Mickey ends up driving East. He doesn’t follow a map or gps. He doesn’t really check road signs. Just drives til he thinks it’s time to stop. Which happens to be about 12 hours later in New York. It’s getting colder. It’s only the beginning of October but he feels the crisp air on his skin. He gets a hotel for the night and orders room service. The money that he stole from Terry’s stash before he left will only get him so far. First thing tomorrow he’ll have to look for a job and a shithole to call home. But for now he’ll let the quiet of the room lull him to sleep. He wishes he could call Mandy and tell her everything that’s happened. He hasn’t heard from her since the night of his god for saken wedding. He hopes her and Ian are somewhere together, safe. They’ve both disconnected their phones. Not that Mickey has tried to call Gallagher, he only knows because he went to the Gallagher house to look for Mandy and Neither Fiona or Lip knew where she was or where Ian had gone. So he figures they left the hell hole of the Southside together and he’s kind of proud of them. They got out. He just hopes where they ended up is better.   
So he lays down let’s himself relax. And he drifts off to sleep with images of red hair, green eyes, and freckled skin. Just like he has for the last year.


	6. Chapter 6

Mickey has been working at Cain’s Garage for about a month now. Mostly bitch work at first. Picking up parts, Cleaning up around the garage. He’s just started to actually get his hands dirty. One day one of the other mechanics,Justin, was having problems with a newer model Corvette. Back in the Southside his brother Iggy always had a hard on for the faster cars so he’s seen a few. Even helped break a few down at chop shops. So he decided to take a look to see if he could figure it out. Within minutes he had the thing up and running. Bo, the owner, was impressed and decided to let him try his hand at one of the regulars cars. Mrs. Smith was an 80 year old lady that came in almost every week with something else wrong with her broke down old Buick. But she brought cookies with her when she did come in so no one complained much. Right now Mickey was under the hood of the car because the belt had been making a god awful screeching sound. Just as he was putting the hood down he heard Bo come in. It’s a Sunday so none of the other mechanics are there. Mickey has nothing else to do so he usually spends all of his feee time at ge garage. He hears Bo walk up beside him. 

“Take her out for a test drive Mick. Make sure that god awful noise is gone” he says

“Alright I’ll be back in a few”

He heads down the road a couple of blocks when a shock of red hair catches his eye. There on the sidewalk is a man and woman pushing a baby stroller. He slows down to get a better look and sure enough there in all his glory is Ian fucking Gallagher. At first he doesn’t recognize the woman. Her signature black hair is now blonde. But it’s no doubt Mandy.  
He hasn’t realized he’s stopped the car until there’s a loud honk from behind him. That’s when he looks over and sees Ian mouth parted in shock and standing as still as a statue. He looks to Mandy who looks more pissed than shocked.  
Sees the stroller. Wonders if that’s why they left. Mandy got knocked up and decided to leave. The horn sounds again and he flips the car behind him off before he hits the gas. Probably a little too hard judging by the way the tires screech. He doesn’t look back. Doesn’t want to see the look on their faces.


	7. Chapter 7

Ian and Mandy are about to head back to their apartment. They’ve been walking for about 45 minutes and it’s about time for Alek to wake up for his bottle. They’ve been talking about everything from the week and catching up. Ian has been telling Mandy about a regular at the bar that keeps asking him out. Josh is nice. Tall and tan and blonde with dark brown eyes. Everything Ian should be attracted to. But Ian isn’t ready. He doesn’t know if he’lol ever be ready. He has Alek and Mandy and that’s enough.   
Mandy is just finishing a story about her boyfriend, Justin, when a horn scares the shit out of them and they stop. When they look over they see an old Buick holding up a line of cars. But that’s not all that catches Ian’s eye. The driver of the car is looking straight at him and he’d recognize those blue eyes anywhere. He looks into those blue eyes every time he looks at his son. Ian doesn’t know what to do. He feels like he should pick up his son and run. But his feet dont seem to be working. So he stands there mouth open in shock breathing so hard he may pass out. The horn sounds again. Mickey throws a finger up at the driver behind him and speeds off. Tires screeching as he hits the gas.   
Ian turns to look at Mandy. Her face is stone cold. She seems more pissed than shocked. 

“What the actual fuck” she yells.

Ian doesn’t know what to say. Doesn’t know what to do. Luckily just as he’s started to get his bearings Alek starts to cry. He scoops his son up in his arms and starts rubbing his back. They stop at a little cafe on the way back to the apartment. Mandy orders them a couple of coffees while Ian feeds Alek. Neither one of them speak. They just let Aleks soft snoring and the patrons around the cafe fill the silence between them.


	8. Chapter 8

Mandy is pissed. She doesn’t know how he did it. She thought they were careful. Thought if they went by different names and never called home no one would find them. But there he was. The whole reason they uprooted their lives and moved to a different city. The whole reason she’s raising a baby that isn’t hers. Not that she’s complaining, she loves her life. Loves raising her nephew with Ian, loves not having to worry about her dad sneaking into her room every night. She has a job and an amazing guy in her life. She met Justin 6 months ago when a friend from the diners car broke down and Justin was the mechanic in charge of fixing it. They talked for a while after the car was fixed, met up for drinks and dinner the next night and have been together ever since, which is how she recognized the decal on Mickeys overalls. Cain’s Garage, the same garage her boyfriend works at. And first thing tomorrow morning she’ll be going there to see what the fuck her brother is doing in New York. She refuses to let him ruin her life. Refuses to let him storm into Ian’s life and send him into a spiral. But most of all she refuses to let him be anywhere near the baby he knows nothing about and she plans on keeping it that way.


	9. Chapter 9

Mickey can’t sleep. It’s 2:47 in the morning and he’s done nothing but stare at the ceiling of his bedroom since he laid down at 11:00.  
After he saw Ian and Mandy he went back to the garage, handed Bo the keys to the Buick,told him he was done for the day and went home to his little run down apartment. He collapsed on the couch as soon as he opened the door. He knew he needed a shower but he didn’t have the energy right now to get one. He doesn’t realize he’s been sitting there for hours until his stomach reminds him. So he gets up, walks to his tiny kitchen gets pizza rolls out of the freezer, pops them in the oven and grabs a beer. He must really be out of it, because 15 minutes later he realizes he’s probably burnt the pizza rolls. Doesn’t bother looking though. Instead he grabs another beer downs it in one go and heads to the shower. He needs to relax. Needs to get out of his own head but thinking of Ian is doing nothing to keep his mind or his dick calm. So he grabs the soap and squirts it on his hand. He starts out slow, moving his fist up his shaft at steady pace, willing himself not to think about red hair and pink lips. Ian looked good. His hair is a little longer, shaved on the side but longer on top. Much like his own. He looked older, more mature, Mickey couldn’t see his body under his jacket but he’s willing to bet Ian’s kept himself in good shape. Before he knows it and too soon for his liking he’s moaning out Ian’s name and shooting his load down the drain and all over the tile in front of him. He knew it wouldn’t take long. He hasn’t been with anyone since Ian in the basement before his wedding. Maybe this week he’ll find a bar and have some twink suck him off in the bathroom or bend some nameless guy over in an alley somewhere. Get it out of his system.  
Until then he’ll lay here. Eyes unfocused on the ceiling willing himself to go to sleep. But the images of Ian are doing nothing for his subconscious. He looks at the clock and it’s 3:00. Only 3 and a half more hours til his alarm will go off and he’ll have to be up for the day and head to work.  
He hopes he isn’t too distracted. Doesn’t want Bo to get pissy especially since he’s just given him real work to do. He sighs and rolls into his stomach and lets his eyes drift close and has the most restless night of sleep he’s ever had in his life.


	10. Chapter 10

Ian’s a mess. After him and Mandy got home and got Alek settled for the night they sat on the couch and watched a rerun of Botched. He isn’t paying much attention to the lady that thought she was a cat. All pointy ears,big lips, and slanted eyes. Creepy if you ask him. Anyway, he’s always been more interested in pale skin, blue eyes, and tattooed fingers. Suddenly he hears Mandy yell is his name.

“IAN!”

“Sorry Mands little distracted”

“You wanna talk about it? I know it had to be a shock. I mean of everywhere on the goddamn planet for him to be and he ends up In New York with us? What are the odds” she says

“Yeah it was, but fuck Mandy how did he find us? I thought we were so careful” 

“I don’t know Ian. But New York is a big place. Maybe we won’t see him again.” She knew she was lying. The garage mickey works at is only a couple of blocks over. There was no way they didn’t run into him again. 

“Maybe you’re right. But he saw us Mands, which means he saw the stroller. He knows there’s a baby involved. He knows one of us has a baby. There’s no way he doesn’t get curious. Even if he thinks the baby is yours, Mickey is all about family and loyalty. He’ll want to know.”

“So we tell him he is mine. He doesn’t need to know the truth yet. We don’t know what kind of person Mick is now. Maybe he’s changed. Maybe it won’t be so bad. Until we figure it out as far as Mickey is concerned, Alek is mine”

“Ok well try it your way but I don’t want him around. He’s probably here with his wife and shit... he has a kid the same age as Alek Mands! No way can he know the baby’s his. I don’t want that Russian skank anywhere near my baby.”

“We’ll keep it between us if it comes to that. I doubt we’ll be able to avoid the questions he has though. We’ll have to come up with a cover story.”

Ian nods and starts to get up. He tellls her he just wants to snuggle Alek for a little while. Its been a long day. He just needs to have him close. 

Mandy agrees. Tells him goodnight. She sits up a while longer and makes a plan. She knows where the garage is. She knows Justin doesn’t work til 12 tomorrow. So first thing in the morning when the garage opens she’ll be there. She needs answers and her brother is going to give them to her.


	11. Chapter 11

Mickey’s alarm goes off at 6:30. He feels like shit. He barely slept and when he did it was dreams of Ian. Or maybe they were memories. He isn’t quite sure anymore what’s reality. He’s too tired to debate right now anyway. So he pulls himself out of bed heads to the shower, dresses,grabs a pop tart and heads out the door. He’ll get a cup of coffee (or two) at the shop. 

When he gets to the shop he heads straight to the break room. He’s on his second, or maybe third?, cup of coffe when Wendy from the front desk finds him. She says he has a visitor. He already knows who it will be. So he straightens his shoulders, puts on his signature scowl and walks to the front of the garage.

Mandy’s waiting for him. Matching scowl and fists clenched to her side. He can tell she was in a hurry when she left this morning, messy bun on top of her head, she’s wearing sweats and an old hoodie that he recognizes as Ian’s. 

“How’d you find us?

“Find you? Mandy I wasn’t looking for you!”

“Where’s your wife and kid?”

“Ex-wife actually. And turns out less my kid and more our brother. As soon as I got the paternity test I gave her the papers”

“What about dad?”

“Took care of it.” Mandy looks at him wide-eyed “Oh. Jesus Christ Mands, I didn’t kill him, I just got him locked up again.”

“Why New York?”

“Wasn’t planned. I just got in my piece of shit car and started driving. Ended up here. There was nothing left for me in Chicago. You were gone, Ia...I just needed a fresh start.”

“What happens when dad gets out? I swear to god Mickey if you’ve left any trail and he shows up here I will end you! I have too many important people in my life for you to fuck it up! I’m happy here!”

“You mean like Ian? The kid you had with you the other day? Jesus Mands? A baby? Is that why you left? I could have helped you. Do you know who the father is? Is it Lip?”

“No it’s not Lips, but he is a Gallagher.” She finally looks up to see his shocked face.

“Ian? I th..thought he was gay?” She knew she had him. How else could he have known

“How did you know he was gay Mickey? I never told you that.”

“Oh please, the guy screams fag!”

“oh yeah Mick, and what do you scream?”

“Fuck” he breathes out. Hand running down his face. “He told you didn’t he”

“Of course he fucking told me Mick! I’m his best friend. We left! We didn’t think we’d ever see you again! So yes he told me! Told me how you broke his heart. Told me how you beat the shit out of him!” She pause and lowers her voice. “He told me about Terry catching you. How could you do that to him? How could you marry a hooker after all you went through? You know for months he went on about a guy he was seeing. How great this guy was. How he was falling for him. But he couldn’t tell me who he was because the guy was in the closet and it would have gotten him hurt. Imagine my surprise when I find out that guy, the guy my best friend is in love with, is my straight brother! Or so I thought anyway!” She’s clenching her fists again. Face red with exertion. “Because no son of Terry Milkovich could be gay! Oh no! He couldn’t be gay and he damn sure couldn’t be this amazing guy my best friend fell in love with!!!!”

Mickey stays still. Eyes on his work boots. He’s still shell shocked by Mandy’s confession. Ian was in love with him? He knew he wanted more,but love? It never even crossed his mind.

“Oh c’mon Mick! You can’t tell me you didn’t know.”

“I didn’t” Mickey breathes out unsteadily.

“Than you’re an even bigger dumbass than I thought. YOU BROKE HIM MICKEY!!” She’s in his face now. “He was so fucking broken that he needed to move away and start over. Dad knew about you! He wasn’t safe! And then you go and marry a Russian prostitute! For what Mickey, huh, because daddy dearest told you to?”

“I DID IT FOR IAN!!” He yells “I DID IT BECAUSE DAD THREATENED TO KILL HIM! And he would have Mands. Shit he almost did. We got lucky that day. I wasn’t about to push my luck. I had to keep him safe. So I married Svetlana and I stayed away. I DID IT TO KEEP IAN SAFE!”

“Then you need to tell him that”

“ I can’t Mands and what would it change?”

“What would it change? Mick you can’t keep him in the dark. What’s stopping you now? Dads locked up. You moved away. New York is full of all kinds of people. No one is going to care that you’re gay. So give me one good reason you can’t tell him the truth?

Mickey stays silent

“That’s what I thought. You’re a fucking pussy! If you ever grow some balls, here’s my number.” She hands him a slip of paper. “But if you have no intention of apologizing or telling him the truth, stay away Mick, I’m serious! He can’t go through it again!” And with that she walks away.

Mickeys left standing there, paper in his hand and heart in his throat. He’s never been more conflicted in his life.


	12. Chapter 12

Ian wakes slowly Monday Morning. Alek was up twice last night and it took forever to get him back to sleep. He looks over to the bassinet and sees him still fast asleep. Then looks across the room to Mandy’s bed and sees it empty. He figures she must have had the early shift at the diner. 

He finally gets up with a huff, stretcheds, pulls on some sweats that he’s pretty sure still have puke on them and heads to the bathroom. Same routine everyday, piss, brush his teeth, wash his face, take his meds, because yes on top of the carrier gene he also inherited his mothers fucked up genes and ended up Bipolar. Fucking Monica. 

He found out about a month after they moved to New York. They thought it was the high of finally being out of the Southside. The thrill of a new life. But soon after the high came the low. He was in bed for a week. He knew what it was. Hes lived with it for 18 years. The extreme moods swings, the fast talking, all the ideas he had spinning in his head. At least he did have the will to avoid the Hypersexuality. He was horny all the time but with a baby growing in his stomach, another mans baby, there was no way he could have went through with it. He hasn’t been with anyone since Mickey. He’s gotten plenty of offers from guys at the bar, but it’s never seemed right.

After he woke up from the low, Mandy had gotten him to the clinic. They did bloodwork, asked him about a million questions, and took a urine sample.They asked if he had any medical issues they should know about so of course he told them of the pregnancy. Not like they wouldn’t have found out after the urine test came back. They did a scan and found he was about 7 weeks. Seeing he little blip on the screen was all he needed to see to know that he had to get healthy. He needed to take the medication, if not for him then for his baby, Mickey’s baby. 

So here he stands like any other morning. Four pill, one for depression, one for anxiety, one antipsychotic, and then there was the little white pill, his birth control. It’s not as affective for men as woman but at least it’s something. It wasn’t like he was actually having sex anyway.

The sound of Alek waking up brings him back to the present. Just as he reaches his sons bassinet he sees blue eyes blinking awake. It’s always a shock for Ian. To look at his son and see the eyes of the man he still loves. After three months you’d think he’d get use to it. But he doesn’t think he ever will.

Ian scoops his son up and takes him to change his diaper. He leaves the sleeper on because He had just put it on him at 3 am when Alek decided to puke all over himself and Ian. He snaps the last few button, picks him up, cradles him against his chest and heads to their tiny kitchen to get his bottle ready. He’s gotten pretty good at doing it one handed. Balancing Alek and scooping the formula. He guesses it has a lot to do with helping to raise Liam. 

Just as Alek finishes his bottle and let’s out a loud burp he hears keys in the lock. He turns just in time to see Mandy walk in looking like she was just put through the ringer. Milkovich signature scowl on her face and tear stains on her cheeks. She fakes a smile when she sees Ian on the couch and goes to scoop up her nephew. She cuddles him against her chest and places a soft kiss on the top of his head. Ian doesn’t ask what’s wrong. Knows that she’ll tell him when she’s ready. 

“ I thought you went to work?” He says

“ I dont go in for another hour. I work the 10-6 shift today so I’ll still be home before you leave at 8. I was thinking about making spaghetti for dinner if that sounds good.”

“Sounds perfect Mands. Do you mind if I get a shower though? Little guy decided to throw up on me at 3am, I got him cleaned up but I smell like spoiled milk.” 

“Nope go ahead. I got him”

Ian get up places a kiss on her cheek and heads to his bedroom down the hall. He picks out some boxers and grabs an old shirt he knows Mandy had brought with her. He knows that shirt, Mickey use to wear it all the time when he worked security at the Kash-N-Grab. It’s old and faded black with “Destroyer” written on it. He wonders what Mickey would think if he saw him wearing it. Probably bash his head in and then take it from his battered body. He thinks about that a lot, what Mickey would think. Would he be happy Ian went through with he pregnancy. Would he be a good dad. But just as the thought enters his brain he pushes it back out. Mickey may be out of the Southside but there’s no way he’s okay with Ian having his kid. No way there’s room in his life for Ian and Alek, especially with his wife and another kid already in the picture. 

So Ian gets in the shower. Washes the spoiled milk smell from his body and tries not to think about the “what if’s” or the Southside thug that broke his heart.


	13. chapter 13

Mickey has never been one to believe in fate, or kismet, or whatever the fuck destiny bullshit dumbass people believe in. But the whole Mandy and Ian situation is really fucking with him. Bo ended up sending him home after Mickey almost got decapitated by a damn hood on a car. Thank god Justin was walking by and saw it coming down or it would have been lights out for Mickey. He hasnt been able to focus for days. He knows why. Knows its because of that damn red head. So he came home from work,showered, laid on his couch for a while and watched some bullshit car show on t.v. and drank a few beers. He ended up getting dressed around 9 and headed to a new gay bar he had found on google. It seemed to be a nice enough place. Not too fruity but it definately wasnt The Alibi. He ended up finding a booth in a dark corner so he could scope out the place. If he couldnt get Ian out of his head maybe getting his dick sucked by some twink in the bathroom would take his mind off of the red head for a little while. He decides he wont be picky. He hasnt had an orgasm by anything other than his hand for a year now. 

Just as the waiter comes by to get his drink order a door behind the bar opens. And because hes Mickey Milkovich and the world seems to hate him, the entire reason for his night out walks through it. Ian Fucking Gallagher in all his fucking glory, tight black pants and a tight white vneck tshirt, comes strolling through looking like a fucking model. Hes startled out of his gaze by the waiter clearing his throat. So Mickey orders a beer and a shot of Jack and watches as the waiter goes to the bar to get it. He sneaks a glance and is surprised at what he sees. Some surfer looking douchebag has walked up to Ian and is now whispering something in his ear. He sees Ian smile and shake his head then head over to the waiter that took Mickeys drink order. Ian leans in to get the order over the music that someones put on the jukebox then he sees Ian looking around for something. A part of Mickey wonders if somehow Ian can sense him. But he isnt into all that lovey dovey ROM-COM bullshit so he just hopes he doesnt look his way. 

He sees the waiter head back to his table and sets his drinks down. Mickey hurries up and downs the shot of Jack before the waiter, Jake, can say anything to him. He sees Ian head back over to the blonde guy sitting at the end of the bar. He shouldnt be jealous. He has no right to want to bash blonde guys face in, but the need is there. He needs to finish his beer and get the fuck out of dodge before he ends up doing something stupid.

He downs the rest of his beer just in time to see Jake walking back over. Hes smiling way to bright for Mickeys liking and he knows where this is going. Jake asks him if he needs anything else and when Mickey nods and goes for his wallet Jake tells him its on the house and leans in close to Mickeys ear. 

"Why dont you and me go somewhere a little more private" he hears Jake breathe out.

" I'll meet you in the bathroom" Mickey says before Jake is walking away with a little more pep in his step and sway in his hips.

Mickey watches Jake walk over to Ian. He sees him lean in and say something that has Ian grinning and cocking his head. He sees Ian look his way but doesnt show any signs of recognation on his face. He waits til Jake makes his way to the bathroom, grabs his jacket, slaps a few bills on the table and makes his way out the front door. He passes by the bar to get one last look at the red-head, pushes the front door open and walks out into the cold New York air.


	14. Chapter 14

Ian’s been feeling a little off lately. He knows what it is. It’s Mickey Fucking Milkovich. Just showing up out of nowhere throwing his entire world for a loop. Having the blue eyed man in the same city is really messing with him. He looks for him everywhere now. Which is stupid because Ian doesn’t even know where he lives. New York City is big enough for the two of them. They may not even run into each other again. Fat chance for that Ian thinks. No way in hell would it work out that way for him. He should probably make an appointment with his therapist. he’s been seeing Dr. Shim since he was diagnosed and it seems to really help with his routine. Until then he’s going to lay down and take a nap with Alek before he has to head to the bar.

When he wakes up he can hear Mandy in the kitchen. She’s humming along to some song she has playing on her phone. He looks over and sees Alek still passed out beside him in the bed, so he builds a pillow barrier around him just to be safe and heads out of the room.

“Hey sleepyhead how was your nap?”

“Good I really needed it after Alek kept me up last night.”

“Well dinners just about ready if you wanna go grab a quick shower while little mans still asleep”

“ Thanks Mands”

So Ian heads to the shower. Hopefully the hot water will help the fog clear from his head, but just as he’s finding out his hair he hears Alek let out a cry. He hurries to get out, dries himself off and pulls on a pair of sweats. He doesn’t bother with a shirt but only because he’s comfortable enough around Mandy that he doesn’t feel like he needs to hide. She did see him push a kid out after all. His body is nowhere near where he would like it to be. He’s always been in shape. ROTC helped with that. But after he had Alek he didn’t have the 6 pack and he had the clear sign of pregnancy etched into his skin. He would t trade it for the world though. They got him his son, Mickey’s son. 

He heads out of the bathroom just in time to see Mandy coming out of the bedroom with Alek snuggled into her shoulder. So he goes to the kitchen and makes a bottle while Mandy changes his diaper. This is how it goes. They’re like a well oiled machine. Never out of sync. Especially when it comes to Alek. He sometimes thinks that if he weren’t gay Mandy would be his dream girl. That’s probably why he was so attracted to Mickey, he was Mandy with a dick!

He walks back to the living room and hands Mandy the bottle then goes back to the kitchen to plate up their food. He sets Mandy’s on the coffee table and hurried to eat his so he can take Alek. This is their ritual. Eat dinner and watch shitty reruns on tv and snuggle Alek before ian heads to work. 

“ I have something to tell you” Mandy says and he knows it’s nothing good by the look on her face.

“What is it Mands?”

“ I found Mickey. I went to talk to him. I recognized he name on his overalls. He works at Cain’s Garage with Justin.” He looks over to gage his reaction

“ that’s good Mands, he’s your brother, you guy need to talk”

“ Ian I didn’t go there for me. I went there for you and for Alek. I had to know what kind of person he is now”

“You didn’t tell him Mandy! Please tell me you didn’t tell him about Alek”

“I didn’t tell him. He knows about Alek but he thinks he’s mine. He also thinks your the dad. I didn’t tell him any different. Not like I lied. I just didn’t creek him any different. He knows that’s why we left Chicago. He seemed kind of hurt that I didn’t tell him. He seems like she’s changed a lot. Grown up maybe?”

“Yeah well a wife and kid will do that to a person”

She bites her lip before she can blurt anything out. That’s not her secret to tell.

“ I gave him my number. Told him to only use it if he plans on explaining himself and apologizing. He knows I know about the two of you. Didn’t seem too upset about it though.”

Ian just shakes his head and hold Alek a little tighter. Trying to process everything

“Well I hope he uses it, for your sake” he says  
“I kno how close you guys were, it wasn’t fair of me to take you from him.”

“ don’t you for one second think that I wouldn’t make the same decision Ian Gallagher. Being out of the Southside is amazing and getting out with my best friend just made it better. We’re family. Me, you, Alek! And maybe one day of Mickey is part of it great, but if not then we got this. That little boy will be so loved. He’ll never know a childhood like we did! EVER!”

Just then Ian’s alarm goes off for his meds and to get ready for work. He hands Mandy Alek and goes to get ready. 15 minutes later he walks out in his standard uniform. White shirt, black pants, old worn out chucks that were probably Lips at some point. He’ll need to replace them soon. 

He sees Mandy sprawled it on the couch with Alek on her chest. Watching some home improvement show that she’s probably seen a thousand times. He gives her a kiss on the head and Alek a kiss on his cheek grabs his book bag and heads out the door. 

When he gets to work he heads to the back room to drop his stuff off and heads out to the bar. He puts on his best face, he knows how to play the part. Knows how to get the best tips. He knows men find him attractive. The red hair is like a beacon. He always feels like a dick flirting with guys and leading them on. He knows what it’s like to be used. To feel like you have a shot and then to be rejected. But he also knows Alek needs diapers and formula so he works his magic and puts on a fake persona. 

Speaking of rejecting. He sees a familiar mop of blonde hair approaching the bar Lucas is a regular. He’s been after Ian since he’s started there. 

“Hey red!” He hears the blonde yell. He hates being called red. Mickey use to call him that and it feels so wrong coming from someone else’s mouth. But he does what he always does and plasters the fake smile on his face and goes to wear Lucas is standing at the bar. He leans forward so Ian get closer.

“ so are you going to let me take you home tonight Red?”

“ I told you Lucas I’m not dating. My last relationship was complicated and I’m not ready.” Not a total lie but Lucas doesn’t t we’d to know about his baggage.

“ who said anything about dating? I just want you in my bed for now. And if it turns into more than that then it would be a bonus. C’mon Ian I know you have to be horny. I’ve never seen you with anyone. How longs it been since you’ve been fucked?”

“Who says I’m the one being fucked? Ian smirks back at him

“Even better for me!” Lucas winks at him and Ian can’t help but to laugh

Just then he sees one of the waiters, Jake, heading towards him. He’s not a fan of Jake. He’s kind of the bar SLUT. Always picking up customers and taking them to the bathroom or back alley.

He heads over to where Jake had stopped at the bar and get the drink order. Bottle of beer and a shot of Jack. Jack always reminds him of Mickey. But man was Frank wrong.Jack and Orange Juice really don’t mix well.

He isn’t even listening to Jake go on about his newest conquest until he says the guy he’s trying to pick up has pale skin, dark hair and bright blue eyes. Ian automatically looks around the bar. He doesn’t know why. Not like Mickey would show his face in a place like this. Too many fags for his taste. Wishful thinking on his part. 

He gets he drinks ready for Jake and watches him walk to a back corner of the bar hat Ian really can’t see. It’s too dark. People usually only go there if they don’t want other people seeing them doing dirty things. So he goes back to making drink orders for some of the regulars.

It’s about 20 minutes later when Jake makes his way back up to the bar. An obvious sway in his hips and smile on his face. He beckons ianover to tell him he’s taking his break. Ian knows the drill. Jake will head to the bathroom and a few minutes later guy will follow him,Not too discreetly. So he waits. But after about 5 minutes no one follows. Just as he’s about to turn away he hears Lucas.

“HOLY SHIT did you just see the guy that walked by here? Black hair, blue eyes, leather jacket, tight as fuck pants over an ass to die for! Holy fuck he was hot!” 

Ian lifts his head to the door just in time to see said guy walking out. But not before giving the bar one last look. And Ian would know him anywhere. Mickey Fucking Milkovich!


	15. 15

It’s been a week since Mickey stepped into the bar. A week since he’s seen Ian. He hasn’t slept, barely eaten. He basically lives in liquid. He’s lost all focus and he knows it because of Ian. After all this time he’s still got some kind of hold on him. Mickeys not stupid he knows he still has feeling for the red head. How could he not. Ian’s always been under his skin. Since that first fuck in his bedroom when Ian broke in with a tyre iron he’s felt it, not that he would ever admit it to Ian. He’s been thinking about it a lot. He has Mandy’s number. Knows she said not to call unless he was ready. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be ready. But he misses his sister. So he grabs his phone. Looks for the paper in the side drawer and dials it. It o my takes about three rings til he hears Mandy’s voice.

“Hello?” He hears her say

He doesn’t know what to say. So he stays quiet.

“ Listen asswipe I can hear you breathing. Either talk or I hang up.”

Mickey let’s out a laugh because that was such a Mandy thing to say. 

“ Mickey?”

“ Yeah Mands it’s me”

“ So I take it your ready to talk?”

“ Listen Mands. I’m not ready to hash anything out yet. Especially with Gallagher. But I miss you. If it’s ok with you I’d like to start it slow. Maybe start with me and you getti coffee or something this week?”

“Yeah that sounds good Mick. I don’t work til 8 tomorrow and I know the garage opens at 8:30 you wanna meet me at that little coffee shop on the way to the garage? I work at the diner across the street, Patty’s.”

“ Yeah that sounds perfect. I’ll see then Mands”  
He hangs up feeling lighter than he has for a year. 

The next morning he wakes up at 7, showers, puts on his uniform and heads out the door. It’s about a 20 minute walk to the coffee shop so he lights a cigarette and takes his time. He gets there a little early so finds a table and wait for Mandy. He’s playing a game in his phone and hears the door chime and sees her walk in. He gets up to greet her and get her coffee order before going to the counter to order for them. When he sits down Mandy’s in the phone and he can hear her talking to someone. Saying she’ll meet them before her shift in front of the diner. He only hopes it’s not Ian. 

“ So what’s up Mick? Why’d you wanna meet?”

“ I told you Mandy, I miss you. I thought a lot about you after you left. I even went to the Gallagher’s to see if you’d shacked up there. That’s when I found out Ian had left too. I figured you guys left together but I never imagined it would be because of a baby. What the fuck Mandy?”

“ Listen Mick I don’t wanna get into that right now. All I need to know is if you plan or sticking around. Because if you’re not I don’t even wanna get close to you again. Are you here to stay Mick? And if you do stay and you want to build a relationship again then you need to realize Ian is a big part of my life. We live together. We take care of a baby together. If you plan on being in my life then you will be in his life too. No way of getting around it.”

“Yeah I kind of figured you’re a package deal. And I’ll come around to being around Gallagher again. I just need some time to wrap my head around it.”

“Do you still care about him?” She asks. 

He looks up at her wide-eyed. He could lie tell her it’s been over a while. That he’s been over Ian for a while but what’s the point. “Yeah, I never stopped caring about him. You were right. I was a pussy. I should have stood up to dad a long time ago. I regret it everyday of my life. There hasn’t been a day I haven’t thought about Ian. Shit some days he’s all I can think about.” 

She knows he means it. The old Mickey would f have opened up like that. He was always so emotionally constipated. Perks of living with terry Milkovich. You never showed emotion unless it was anger.

“ Do you love him?”

“Maybe! I don’t know Mandy, what do I have to go by when it comes to love? Mom and Dad? Beating each other until one of you snaps and overdoses on the bathroom floor? If that’s what love is I don’t want it. I care about him. More than I’ve ever cared for anyone in my life except maybe you.” He looks up at her and he can tell she’s as shocked as he is at the confession. 

“ Thanksgivings next week Mick. Do you have anywhere to go? “

“ hmmmph. Where would I go Mandy? I’ll probably just buy a turkey TV dinner pop it in the microwave sit around my apartment and drink myself stupid.”

“Would you maybe want to celebrate with me? I know that involves Ian and Alek. But I don’t think you should be alone.”

“Alek?”

“Yeah, Aleksandr Phillip Gallagher, we named him after our brothers. 

Mickeys shocked. He never in a million years thought Mandy would ever name her kid after him. 

“Will Gallagher be ok with this? I’m not trying to intrude and piss anyone off.”

“How about you just show up. I’ll text you the address the day before. We’ll make it work”

“Ok if you think it’s a good idea.”

“ I don’t know if it is but if it’s not we’ll figure it out. Might as well just rip the bandaid off. The longer we prolong it the harder it will be.”

Just then she looks out the window and smiles. She gets so he follows her. She pulls him into a hug and tells him she’ll text him. And just like that she’s out the door. He watches her cross the street and head to a guy in similar work clothes as his own. The guy turns around just as Mandy launches herself to him. He recognizes the guy. Works with him everyday. Such a small fucked up world. He sees Justin smiling at Mandy like she’s the sun. Like she’s everything he’s ever needed. He’s happy for her. He really is. But it makes him wonder what kind of arrangement her and Ian have. Does Justin even know about the baby? Guess his questions will be answered in time. But right now he has to get to work. He’ll just have to wait for Mandy’s text.


End file.
